Archive for the ‘Misc’ Category

I want to talk about the little things… You know, the little things that creep into your mind every now and then, right before you shoo them away, until it pops back up a while later? The little things that make interesting small talk and also some of the most preposterous discussions. Here are a few that have crossed my mind in the last few days.

1 ) When you are talking 1-on-1 with someone, how exactly do you make eye contact? Do you stare into the left eye or the right??

Cause it’s not possible to look at both! If I have just ruined your life by making you conscious of this fact, I apologize (you may never again have a solo talk with someone without going fanatic midway). I’ve quibbled long over this and the matter is still up for debates.

2 ) If Jesus died and rose back from the death, all immortal and invulnerable, doesn’t that make him a zombie?

Dictionary.com defines a “zombie” as ‘a dead body that has been brought back to life by a supernatural force’. Sounds like Jesus to me! I’m not asking you to shoot his head off, mutilate him or send Alice after his sorry ass….. I’m only suggesting that it ain’t such a bad idea! 😉

3 ) Why do so many guys with superpowers crib about wanting to be “normal”?!?!

Bunch of ungrateful deadbeat no-gooders! If I had super strength, a 6th sense, an uncanny knack of growing 6-pack abs overnight and the liberty to proudly swing across the city in tights, bad grades would be the least of my worries.

4 ) Why can’t we ever get the time at the first glance at our watch?

Is it only me or does everyone suffer from this sort of acute attention disorder? I glance at my watch, look up, wonder what the time is…. NO IDEA!
It may have something to do with the fact that I’m just trying to show the girl across the bench that I am busy and looking forward to something important, but surely grasping the time from a digital watch cannot be that tough?!

5 ) Does looking at a kid and thinking “She’s gonna be hot when she grows up..” count as pedophilia?

Umm… I rather not elaborate on this for fear of incarceration.

6 ) If you understood Morse code, wouldn’t tap dancers drive you nuts?

I don’t know about you but I’m pretty sure I’d be all “AAARRGGHHH!!!! I don’t get what you’re saying!!” Its gotta be either tap dancers or Morse code. You can’t have both in your life and stay a sane man.

7 ) Why is it possible for girls to act like boys and look cool but never vice versa?

In that context, why is it alright when girls dance together, hold hands or perform any activity that would be even unthinkable for boys, for fear of being tagged homosexual in a very no-kidding-you’re-a-fag kind of way? I long to see the day when girls would ask guys out as often as it happens the other way around, and guys could wear pink without being judged. That’s right, I’m a sucker for equality!

8 ) How come the expression “slim chance” means the same as “fat chance”?

This silly language has people going berserk! You fill in a form by filling it out and an alarm clock goes off by going on. When the stars are out, they are visible, but when the lights are out, they are invisible!! AAARRGGHHHH!

9 ) Of the people who watched Donnie Darko, can anyone honestly say that he/she knows what the fuck happened?!

Come on, be honest! You can seriously make sense of all that? And don’t you dare go all “artsy” on me! I understand that the movie isn’t for everybody. But it shocks me that every other action-flick-addicted-booty-loving-idiot tells me what an awesome movie it is. Surely, my artistic quotient can’t be THAT low!

10) Why is the cockpit called so?

Don’t want to get into the specifics since the question is kind of self explanatory… but interesting food for thought. Maybe it’s because that’s where all the action is! Or is it that only guys hang out in that area of the plane?

Let me know what you think.

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When I am an old woman I shall wear purple
With a red hat that doesn’t go, and doesn’t suit me,
And I shall spend my pension
on brandy and summer gloves
And satin sandals,
and say we’ve no money for butter.
I shall sit down on the pavement when I am tired,
And gobble up samples in shops and press alarm bells,
And run my stick along the public railings,
And make up for the sobriety of my youth.
I shall go out in my slippers in the rain
And pick the flowers in other people’s gardens,
And learn to spit.
You can wear terrible shirts and grow more fat,
And eat three pounds of sausages at a go,
Or only bread and pickle for a week,
And hoard pens and pencils and beer mats
and things in boxes.
But now we must have clothes that keep us dry,
And pay our rent and not swear in the street,
And set a good example for the children.
We will have friends to dinner and read the papers.
But maybe I ought to practice a little now?
So people who know me
are not too shocked and surprised,
When suddenly I am old
and start to wear purple!

(‘Warning’ by Jenny Joseph)

I encounter, a little too often, people who wish to remain young forever. Those who wish to live the “best” part of their lives forever and ever. But how can something stay valuable if it’s available in such abundance? Isn’t it the very fact that the best is available in bits and pieces that makes it so precious? Surely there’s something that the lunatic inside you fancies.

I don’t have any qualms about aging. But what freaks me out is growing up.

I have been told by many, on a number of occasions, that I often act immature/crazy/childish/stupid/juvenile. Some have been in a positive light but most….well, not so positive. Others may perceive this in their own way, but I honestly consider this a compliment. Can you imagine not being able to enjoy the little things in life? The slapstick humour you throw around to keep the mood light and goofy? Or the crazy idiotic things you go through to get that satisfied grin on your face!

That's what I'm talking about!

Shaving my chest hair to form an “F” (a hairy one) and flaunt it, getting drunk and swimming in the college pool at 3 in the morning, sporting a new “radical” look, borrowing the carpenter’s power drill for a little “me-time”, screaming in a church, painting/scribbling random thoughts on your clean wall, walking 6-7 km back home as a result of lethargy to hitch a cab, playing superhero in my head while waiting for an interview, driving an hour to the airport with friends at 3 A.M to find the only open coffee place around with a good ambiance, getting caught in college with a stash of booze and bribing the authorities with the same booze, standing by your friends when your chances of saving a black eye looks really bleak, breaking a brand new guitar to know how it feels to be a rockstar & so on & so forth……..

Umm...Trendy makeover?

Hallowed be thy name, BIATCH!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

My friends say that we’ll look back at our endeavours many years down the line and think of the old times. But that’s not nearly good enough! I say we should look back at them and try to top them! Granted, we may not be capable of similar feats then, but I wish I could be foolish enough to try.

Is it so wrong to want to be incarcerated just for the sake of experience? Or to walk up to a stranger on the street and tell them how lovely they look? I intend no malice. I only wish to enjoy the one shot I have at life. When was the last time you pulled off some random shit just for the heck of it? A prank call, a run in the rain, a bite of something inedible, whatever… Don’t take life, or yourself, too seriously. Shit happens. Deal with it. Move on. More shit will happen.

You don't say!

My Bucket List

Posted: December 25, 2010 in Everyday stuff, Misc
Tags: , , , ,

I think it’s about time I created a bucket list. A list of activities I must accomplish before I kick the bucket, in order to know and be content that I have done all the things that I have wanted to, in my little life. Ever feel your days are passing by without any tangible output to speak of? Look at the things you did and the things you’re planning to do next – Do they mean anything to you if you are to die today?

I have been compiling this list for quite some time now, and I believe I now have enough things to have a long enough to-do list. I shall update this page as and when I need to, for varying reasons like completing a task (will strike out the task as I do so), finding a task to be impractical (will remove it from the list in such an event) or finding a new one to add. The sole reason for me to publish this list on my blog is to motivate myself (and maybe others) to get out of my comfort zone and experience something I may be able to look back at, say 10 years from then, and tell an amazing story.

So here goes (the order of the tasks is not important) :

1) Fly in a hot-air balloon across a country

2) Learn wine appreciation [Feb 2013 – Santiago, Chile]

3) Complete a solo sky dive

4) Climb a 5000m mountain

5) Run a marathon [Aug 2013 – Perth, Australia]

6) Fly in a fighter jet

7) Bungee jump from the world’s highest tower

8) Be a certified paraglider [Dec 2010 – Kamshet, India]

9) Be a certified scuba diver [Sep 2012 – Gili Trawangan, Indonesia]

10) Take my parents on an extravagant vacation abroad

11) Stay awake for 72 hours straight

12) Travel into space

13) Learn how to sail

14) Speak to an audience of hundreds (or possibly thousands) of people

15) Appear on television [Jan 2008 – Kharagpur, India] (was featured on a local television as part of a feature on the campus placements of my college)

16) Dress up in a costume party [April 2011 – Kharagpur, India]

17) Travel to Antarctica

18) Get a tattoo [June 2010 – Shanghai, China]

19) Trek through a rainforest

20) Build a tree house and live a day in it

21) Learn to operate firearms

22) Learn at least two forms of dancing

23) Complete a triathlon [Apr 2013 – Perth, Australia]

24) Bury a time capsule with key memoirs in a secret location,and open it after 10 years

25) Get arrested

26) Drive a Formula One car

27) Play the guitar live to an audience

28) Walk into a store, break something expensive intentionally and pay for it

29) Ask 10 complete strangers (girls), on the same day, out for a date

30) Drive on the German autobahn at 200kmph

31) Witness Halley’s Comet in 2061

32) Tell kids they’re adopted, and record their reaction

33) Own a Cafe

34) Do a wingsuit flight

35) Run the Boston marathon before you’re 40

36) Travel to Finland and sleep in an Igloo under the Northern Lights

37) Watch the sunset from Cafe Del Mar, Ibiza

38) WDive in the Mariana Trench

The Chicken or The Egg??

Posted: November 3, 2010 in Misc
Tags: , , , ,

I’m sick and tired of hearing this question over and over again. If you ask me (which you probably won’t, but that won’t stop me), the answer lies within a simple question:

Are you a creationist or an evolutionist?

Yup, the answers are different based on what theory you believe in. If you think that’s blasphemy and that this riddle is not one to be solved, a simple analysis may make you think otherwise…

Let’s be pragmatic and think of how the chicken/egg came to be. If we back up a bit and imagine a world without the chicken/egg, a time where a more primitive form of the animal existed, we might be assisted in getting an insight to the problem. Suppose it is the animal X that led to the birth of the chicken. Since X is the immediate predecessor of the chicken, it would be safe to assume that it follows similar ways of reproduction as the chicken and hence, lays eggs. What’s vital now is to identify the point in time where the chicken/chicken egg originates. Notice that I shall now refer to the egg as chicken egg since we are now dealing with X as well.

This is where the tricky part comes in. The ambiguity arises in figuring out if the animal X turns to chicken first or the egg that it lays turns to chicken egg first.

1) EVOLUTIONISM

This is what I stick by. An animal does not transform into something else during its own lifetime. It does so over a period of time through evolution. So you can only say a new species has been originated (a very fine line to distinctly claim that) when the egg laid by its predecessor has been altered enough to give birth to the new species, say a chicken! This would suggest that X lays a chicken egg at some point in evolution which leads to the chicken. Hence, the answer is THE EGG!

2) CREATIONISM

This would suggest that the egg that X lays must ALWAYS be an X egg and that the only way for a chicken to come up would be for X to turn *POOF* into a chicken abruptly! It’s only from this point on that the eggs would be chicken eggs. So, from this perspective, THE CHICKEN came first. I know it’s not too convincing, but hey! Tell that to the child molesters!!

So there you go. One of life’s greatest mysteries solved and laid out before you.. YOU’RE WELCOME!

The ample time on my hands often makes me wonder about the actions I take everyday, and how each one of us tries to out-think the other to stay on the top. I have observed that when we interact with people, based on our previous experiences with them, we try to change the way we act around them. For example, you may be a cheerful person who loves to talk a lot and mingle with people, always willing to help out. But when you’re surrounded by people who tend to have an attitude and take you for granted, it’s only a matter of time before you feel like you’re being pushed just because you’re being nice. Your cheerful remarks being responded with scornful replies, a jubilant greeting returned by sheer indifference……. This tends to make you wish you could impel the taste of their own medicine upon them. Consequently, the way you act around people changes over time depending on how you are treated.

Mind the fact that what changes is not our inherent behaviour and personality, but the act that we decide to portray to others. While this may seem appropriate at the time, being rude to people who are rude to you, ignoring those who have done the same to you etc., the pitfall with such an action is in its tendency to change you in the long run. While you may intend to act in that manner only for a brief period, the deed done leaves an imprint on your personality, and the act comes out effortlessly later on. Before you realize it, the natural face you put up to new people you meet, transforms into an altered version of who you were, mixed with what you loath in others. You end up becoming what you hate!

On inquiring my mom in the past regarding why she often lets matter go, when we had the chance for getting back at someone who might have caused us trouble, I’ve often been answered with the same words “then what would distinguish us from them?”. I always considered that to be quite naive since the absence of action was always considered as weakness by me….. However, now that I look back, maybe it was wisdom that I mistook for naiveness.

Most people who get through to IITs will tell you that it was the biggest achievement of their lives. The same is true for me, although I must admit that I wish to change that fact. You can’t dwell on the past forever. I’m not half the person I was then (I mean that in a good way). Besides, I’m sure calling yourself an IIT-ian wouldn’t be much of a feat, 5 years down the line. All I can hope is that I can soon make a name for myself in the near future, so that I may not have to use this sorry excuse as a proof of my capabilities.

But what I’d talk about is something that happened during my quest to reach the so-called Utopia. I was part of a crowd that believed in nothing but working like robots to do one thing and one thing only………CRAM! We were made to believe that those of us who could prove to be better than others were winners while the rest were mere mortals who could only hope to reach us. What kept us going was the constant reminder that if we toiled hard enough for 2 years, the rest of our lives would be a cake-walk.

The director of the institution, known only as ‘K.K’, kept boosting our morale. But his ways were different than conventional ones. He did not tell us that the goal was achievable with hard work. What he made us believe was that the goal was there so that we could go get it. He kept reminding us that we were way too good to be competing with the rest and tried hard to make us more confident that we should have been. One of the students’ parents paid K.K a visit, and explained to him that their son was acting cocky and was under the impression that he was already fit to write the exams that were to be faced an year later. The parents were worried that the overconfidence pumped into their children might be their downfall. K.K assured them that it would be their strengths….. He explained that coupled with the sheer pressure he would face in the coming months, his state of mind would drop from that of over-confidence, to confidence, and that would be the factor driving him to the finish line, compared to the others who would drop from confidence to inferiority.

It may sound ridiculous or utter bullshit, but I now feel that the trick might have worked. For I see now, that I am where many better than me failed to reach, not because I was more deserving or gifted. But because one man made me believe that I was God………which I was not.

Dreams…

Posted: February 6, 2010 in Misc
Tags: , , ,

Its weird how the most obscure dreams can make us think deep about our own lives, and actually find meaning to them!! I’m not talking about your goals and aspirations, I mean those things you have when your mind has been tortured through hours of boring lectures in a dusty classroom.
I seldom dream during my sleep, or maybe its more precise to say that I seldom remember them. But when I do remember them, I do feel excited on recalling their vagueness. No matter how vague your dream may be, it had to come from some deep corner of the little subconscious part of your mind. So makes you wonder……. what effed up part of your mind wanted to sing a song on another planet :S . Its funny how dreams can sometimes transcend into your real world. I remember the scream of a woman in my dream turning out to be my mom waking me up in my room. And then there are the times when the dreams are so real, you wake up and continue acting as if the same scenario was continuing. There was a time when I was 12 years old, I woke up thinking I was getting late for school. I brushed my teeth, took a bath and changed into my uniform. My mom had been there the whole time and realized what was happening. But for the kicks, she waited till I had my bag and water bottle ready, and said in a calm voice “Its 6 in the evening. That was a dream…..maybe you should change back??”.

Throughout history, people have sought meaning in dreams or divination through dreams. After giving some thought to my own dreams, I’m convinced its mental thrash that the brain is playing around with when you are asleep, just for the kick of it. Some people think it signifies what you want, but if you’ve had the kinda dreams every boy wishes, you know that they get over just before the good part begins (Yup, we’ve all had them). Or the ones where you’re falling from a building but you always wake up before you actually hit the ground. I’ve had one where I’m in space and a good friend of mine is standin beside me, while I float around her. Care to interpret that?

I do not know if a dream can reveal anything about you, other people or about the problems that most worry you. I have no idea if they are even metaphoric and symbolic and explain what is happening around us. Or maybe they are nothing but random electrical pulses between neurons in our brain. Whatever the reason, I’m glad there’s some crazy part in our minds which shows us a ridiculous world and convinces us, if for a short while, that its all real and worth worrying about.