Have you become what you hate?

Posted: April 14, 2010 in Misc
Tags: , , , ,

The ample time on my hands often makes me wonder about the actions I take everyday, and how each one of us tries to out-think the other to stay on the top. I have observed that when we interact with people, based on our previous experiences with them, we try to change the way we act around them. For example, you may be a cheerful person who loves to talk a lot and mingle with people, always willing to help out. But when you’re surrounded by people who tend to have an attitude and take you for granted, it’s only a matter of time before you feel like you’re being pushed just because you’re being nice. Your cheerful remarks being responded with scornful replies, a jubilant greeting returned by sheer indifference……. This tends to make you wish you could impel the taste of their own medicine upon them. Consequently, the way you act around people changes over time depending on how you are treated.

Mind the fact that what changes is not our inherent behaviour and personality, but the act that we decide to portray to others. While this may seem appropriate at the time, being rude to people who are rude to you, ignoring those who have done the same to you etc., the pitfall with such an action is in its tendency to change you in the long run. While you may intend to act in that manner only for a brief period, the deed done leaves an imprint on your personality, and the act comes out effortlessly later on. Before you realize it, the natural face you put up to new people you meet, transforms into an altered version of who you were, mixed with what you loath in others. You end up becoming what you hate!

On inquiring my mom in the past regarding why she often lets matter go, when we had the chance for getting back at someone who might have caused us trouble, I’ve often been answered with the same words “then what would distinguish us from them?”. I always considered that to be quite naive since the absence of action was always considered as weakness by me….. However, now that I look back, maybe it was wisdom that I mistook for naiveness.

  1. karthik says:

    Well written…. liked it!

  2. idonno says:

    “then what would distinguish us from them?” thats what has always happened with me. Control the actions is what we gotta do !!

    BTW .. kuchch likha hai bey benny !!! mast 😀

  3. Saroj says:

    This post epitomizes so many of us…great piece

  4. vaibhav says:

    frankly speaking…i find this stuff some random mumbling…nice try to begin with…the topic is still unknown. ‘do you become what you hate’ sounds like a title picked straight from some game, and later the author makes ‘getting back at someone’ his theme. However, the author’s motives seem nice and connect with his inner voice.
    Benny can surely come up with something better! Make your coming posts a bit more humorous, even if dealing with a topic this grave 🙂

  5. Heyo Fred

    I think there’s a lot of insight and truth in here.

    I try to be very conscious of how I behave with people, especially those I love, because I suspect once you “open a door” it’s hard to close it again. For example, if the romance goes out of a relationship and it turns to grumbling or arguments, I’m not sure it’s ever possible to go back to that time of romance again.

    Very thought-provoking!

  6. murthy says:


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