Archive for February, 2010

Most people who get through to IITs will tell you that it was the biggest achievement of their lives. The same is true for me, although I must admit that I wish to change that fact. You can’t dwell on the past forever. I’m not half the person I was then (I mean that in a good way). Besides, I’m sure calling yourself an IIT-ian wouldn’t be much of a feat, 5 years down the line. All I can hope is that I can soon make a name for myself in the near future, so that I may not have to use this sorry excuse as a proof of my capabilities.

But what I’d talk about is something that happened during my quest to reach the so-called Utopia. I was part of a crowd that believed in nothing but working like robots to do one thing and one thing only………CRAM! We were made to believe that those of us who could prove to be better than others were winners while the rest were mere mortals who could only hope to reach us. What kept us going was the constant reminder that if we toiled hard enough for 2 years, the rest of our lives would be a cake-walk.

The director of the institution, known only as ‘K.K’, kept boosting our morale. But his ways were different than conventional ones. He did not tell us that the goal was achievable with hard work. What he made us believe was that the goal was there so that we could go get it. He kept reminding us that we were way too good to be competing with the rest and tried hard to make us more confident that we should have been. One of the students’ parents paid K.K a visit, and explained to him that their son was acting cocky and was under the impression that he was already fit to write the exams that were to be faced an year later. The parents were worried that the overconfidence pumped into their children might be their downfall. K.K assured them that it would be their strengths….. He explained that coupled with the sheer pressure he would face in the coming months, his state of mind would drop from that of over-confidence, to confidence, and that would be the factor driving him to the finish line, compared to the others who would drop from confidence to inferiority.

It may sound ridiculous or utter bullshit, but I now feel that the trick might have worked. For I see now, that I am where many better than me failed to reach, not because I was more deserving or gifted. But because one man made me believe that I was God………which I was not.


Posted: February 6, 2010 in Misc
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Its weird how the most obscure dreams can make us think deep about our own lives, and actually find meaning to them!! I’m not talking about your goals and aspirations, I mean those things you have when your mind has been tortured through hours of boring lectures in a dusty classroom.
I seldom dream during my sleep, or maybe its more precise to say that I seldom remember them. But when I do remember them, I do feel excited on recalling their vagueness. No matter how vague your dream may be, it had to come from some deep corner of the little subconscious part of your mind. So makes you wonder……. what effed up part of your mind wanted to sing a song on another planet :S . Its funny how dreams can sometimes transcend into your real world. I remember the scream of a woman in my dream turning out to be my mom waking me up in my room. And then there are the times when the dreams are so real, you wake up and continue acting as if the same scenario was continuing. There was a time when I was 12 years old, I woke up thinking I was getting late for school. I brushed my teeth, took a bath and changed into my uniform. My mom had been there the whole time and realized what was happening. But for the kicks, she waited till I had my bag and water bottle ready, and said in a calm voice “Its 6 in the evening. That was a dream…..maybe you should change back??”.

Throughout history, people have sought meaning in dreams or divination through dreams. After giving some thought to my own dreams, I’m convinced its mental thrash that the brain is playing around with when you are asleep, just for the kick of it. Some people think it signifies what you want, but if you’ve had the kinda dreams every boy wishes, you know that they get over just before the good part begins (Yup, we’ve all had them). Or the ones where you’re falling from a building but you always wake up before you actually hit the ground. I’ve had one where I’m in space and a good friend of mine is standin beside me, while I float around her. Care to interpret that?

I do not know if a dream can reveal anything about you, other people or about the problems that most worry you. I have no idea if they are even metaphoric and symbolic and explain what is happening around us. Or maybe they are nothing but random electrical pulses between neurons in our brain. Whatever the reason, I’m glad there’s some crazy part in our minds which shows us a ridiculous world and convinces us, if for a short while, that its all real and worth worrying about.